In many occasion, writing is like an act of channeling. From time to time you have a sentence or even a word that persistently comes up in your mind and it will not go away until you started typing them down or writing them out on a piece of paper. Usually, after those first word or sentence is being written, the next one follows quite fluidly without you even have to put too much thought into it. When it is done however, you feel like you have discovered a completely different world, an unknown universe that has been locked inside your mind and make you wonder… what else have I been hiding inside my mind? What is it that is brewing inside me?
This poem or whatever it is you want to call it was born from one of those moment 4 years ago. I remembered sitting in a small gallery waiting for a friend to come and in front of me was a series of painting hanging on the white wall. Pastel colors oil paint randomly splattered on a white canvas. My mind was empty, and suddenly words started to flow and I typed furiously on my Iphone.
When all is done, I read what I just wrote and I really wonder. What was it that is going on inside me? Where are all this imagination comes from? Well, you can tell me maybe… all I know is that writing is a form of healing and words that you express may come as a form of letting go, or an emotional release which makes you feel much lighter at the end even when you do not really understand it.
Anyway, below is my kind of alternate universe.. ^_^
I would love to have you here.
To gaze at the stars and waiting for one of them to fall.
So that I have a reason to hold your hand, closed our eyes and make a wish.
A dreamy wish upon a falling star.
While our palms intertwined.
And I can feel your pulse.
The pulsing of blood that runs smoothly through the vein, straight to the heart.
I can feel your heart beat.
The beat that follows the rising and falling of your chest.
And I can feel your heart beats closer to the surface of my hands.
Sending tingling vibrations to the fingers.
A shiver of blood that runs through the vein to match my own pulse.
“Lets share our dreams. I want to listen to yours. I want to see the stars in your eyes. And later I will tell you mine. Snuggle you close as we live our dreams together. Even when its only for a while”
Thus the words come like a wave. As the night is dawning, the dream continues in a poetic interludes, never ending sentences filling up those empty spaces, absorbing the heady warm air while our eyes are fixated, gazing to the stars. My own stories flowing like water rushing from an open dam. Stories I never thought I would share, of a life I have secretly live in the solitary confinement of my own head. From childhood dreams to those severely altered by a present reality. Dreams which are spoken, unspoken, realized or unrealized. Lived, forgotten, destroyed from the memories only to resurface after decades of hiding in vain.
And he listens.
Waiting for his turn to tell his story. To share his dream.
I feel his heart beat with each words.
Like a drum that echoes the same tune.
The same beat that rush the blood to my heart.
I basked in those words of dreams.
Of something that we know possible.
Something that we know could be ours.
How do I know which dream do I have to pursue? It is easy, he said. “You are your dream. You have the freedom to pursue all but each time, focus on the one you spent most of your time thinking about. The one you cant take your mind off. The one you can be proud to call yours. The one that defines you. The one that will make your world and make your heart smile”
I can think of one. That one dream I know I have always had. That one dream that never change as decades passed. The one that stayed the same even after I finally found a single strand of greying hair in my head. A sign that time has finally claim its present in the world I created from the shadow of sky and clouds.
The one that surpassed time and life it self.
The one that defines me.
It is not easy. You have to believe it and work hard for it. Sometimes even wonder if it is worth all the trouble. Because only you can see your vision. Only you can touch those images that has become so vividly colorful as it take shapes inside your head. Only you can measure the time of when to move forward and when to let go.
Cause dreams are the one thing that keeps us alive.
The one that keeps our heart beating.
The one that makes you believe.
Because when the night is over and the sun brings us back to reality. All of this will disappear. And what’s left will be our hopes and dreams. A memory of a pulse that once beats through the palms of our hands. The sign of a life that will never fail to remind you to continue living your dream.
So every time you breathe, as those air fills up the lungs and empowers the heart, you will remember.
Remember to live a dream.
Remember to share a dream.
Remember the moment when all your dreams are intertwined.
With the falling of the night and the rising of the sun, we shape our lives. To have the frame of vision collides. To linger in the memories of time, space, touch and a rush of blood to the head.
Because when we wake up.
The dream world may vanish to strands of smoke.
And we are left with only our heart.
That reminds us that we are alive, and will continue living
Even after the moon disappear.
Note : this is only a dream. One that has gone beyond those blurry lines of reality. And being set free, probably inspired by reading and watching too much Twilight Saga.. ^_^
Jakarta – 29 September 2013