A few days a go, Kazu reminded me about this little notes I wrote about Him and his wife, Elaine. So I asked him if I can post it again after 3 years. This ring is very special to me because it was the second ring I designed for a friend and I was so overwhelmed by his trust. I remembered how I was so inspired to hear about their 30 ( now 33! ) years of relationship and marriage.
In this time when you see more separations than long lasting relationships, sometimes it is not so easy to believe that eternity is a possibility. I see how people around me falling in and out of love, marriage and relationship, becoming more bitter and cynical by days. I see people shying away from love because it takes too much effort, time and trouble, that some of them just cannot find the beauty of trying to nurture a budding relationship. In this time when you can buy a virtual “companion” as an application on your smart phone, when you can have a virtual relationship in a community chat room, and when you can easily signed out and shut down your gadget when things get a little bit too involved, it is difficult not to become pessimistic, to loose hope in love and to be able to open our self to love and all its uncertainties. To be less guarded, to loose control and to be vulnerable.
I think what has inspired me the most in couples like Kazu and Elaine, or even my parents with their 36 years of marriage is the journey they have gone through to keep everything together. My mother once told me that “you see me and your father now, and you see everything that is smooth and nice like a well oiled machine. But you did not see what it takes for us to get here. You did not see the amount of work, patience, perseverence and compromises that we have to make to raise a family and to keep everything togeher. Years does not necessarily make it easier, but it does make things smoother. You will learn to surrender and to weave your life together that it will become like a tightly woven cloth. Strong, durable, yet soft and colorful”
With all that said, my friend told me just a few minutes a go “I never think so much of the future of my relationship. I take it as it is day by day, and work it out every single day. Marriage and relationship is a hardwork, but when you have the person you know you want to spend your life with, you will find a way to work through it”.
Thus I remind myself every single day, that life is all about making choices. Being in a relationship is all about making choices, to choose the person you want to be with every single day, to love and to work everything out as things come up. To be courageous, free spirited and open to whatever may come. It is a continuous work, and over time we will grow together as an individual and a couple, everyday consciously making that choices to love without fear, without regrets, and with an open heart. To remind our self to fall in love every single day, and to always making that choice to love the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Love is a beautiful blessing, when you allow it to happen, bloom and blossom with time.
So Kazu, this post is dedicated to you, and your willingness to open up and share your story to us. To share your ups, your downs and you life changing effort with a huge smile in your face always.
“Love is a feeling of heart surrender, grown freely forever” – OP Tiwari –
A Love Story of a Ring
Earlier this year, a few days after the New Year, an email came into my mailbox. It was from a Japanese Yogi friend I met a few months before in Samahita Yoga Thailand, Koh Samui, during one of my annual Pranayama retreat. His request was simple. He asked me to design a special ring to give to his wife to celebrate their 30th anniversary.
It was a very short note.
But it carried with it a kind of lingering sweetness that kept me smiling whenever I re-read the message. In this time when sometimes our heart is closed up, the mind cynical and the words are sometimes bitter, the simplicity of this celebration of love just triggers a feeling of hope.
I never really know their full story, but what I know is that to be with someone for 30 over years, and still have that sparks and magic to have a celebration for their marriage, is a very rare and special thing. And I feel blessed to be given the chance to take a little part in the story.
She loves white.. And therefore he wanted to have a white opal stone for her. The best that I can get. So I went through rubbles and hundreds of possibilities trying to find the perfect stone and after a month of searching, I found the perfect one. The milky oval shape stone that catches the light in a rainbow like sparkle, so beautifully understated and pure.
It was perfect, and the beauty of the stone doesn’t need an elaborate design. Something simple will allow it to shine.. And the textured hand beaten gold vermeil will contrast the smoothness of the stone, thus enhanced the beauty of the gemstone even more.
Or so how I had it in my vision.
The ring was sent out in the early Summer, and was received with joyfulness and excitement.
As of for me, my greatest happiness is to make people happy… And this is the kind of story that keeps me feeling happy and inspired.
Love, in its many forms and complexity, can be difficult
But a beautiful love story exists to show us that even when it is difficult, it is possible. That love, when fully cherished and appreciated, will take you to the place you never know existed within yourself. And from that unknown space, you will find the beauty of falling in love.
Believe, and be happy..
Jakarta, 12 November 2014